Something just a little different. Thoughts and critiques would be highly appreciated!?

I think this is the first time I've ever really read one of your writings. I think this is very good. I am no expert, just a lover of poetry. My suggestion would be to get rid of most of the words "and" as they are probably unnecessary. I also suggest you read some of the poets on here such as BUK, HP, MA, and SIN, Schultzie, & Shannon. They are all outstanding poets that you could learn from. You have the creativity, and the ability, you just need a little more work to polish it up a bit. Thanks for sharing an enjoyable read.